What Time Is It?

It’s been months since I have written about Vivi. I keep saying I will make time, I will find time and yet time seems to be playing “It” with me and the harder I try to catch it, the more I run to take hold of it, the quicker it gets away from me. Time is everything and yet no where. The second hand on a clock can only be heard if you stop and listen. There in a silo of silence, as the world keeps moving, if you stop and listen you can hear the seconds tick by, one by one, one right after another. Do you hear it? That is your life – moving. Most of the time, I don’t hear it because I try to make it conform to me. To my work schedule, to doctor’s appointments, family gatherings, birthday parties, running errands and I don’t hear it, until I carry Vivi in my arms as she snuggles into her favorite blanket, her daddy and I saying we love her, good night, kiss her forehead and lie her down. There in her crib, her face illuminated by the moonlight sneaking through the blinds, I hear it. Time. Time circling, reminding me to stop. I don’t remember when Vivi didn’t have teeth and now she has six. I don’t remember when she couldn’t walk, because now she runs and climbs everything. I don’t remember when she couldn’t talk because now she says hi, agua, plane, doggy and 20 other words. I don’t remember when her hair wasn’t long enough to put into pigtails, when she couldn’t chase Olivia around the house and pull her tail, when she didn’t say mama and cling on to me tightly as we dance on Saturday afternoons. I need to stop and enjoy every minute with her even the ones that result in timeouts. She is all the seconds and minutes and hours, my calendar, my life and my world. She is time in its ultimate form. I can’t let her pass me by either.