Labor Pains

16w 6d

I dreamt last night that I was sharing a plate of banana foster with New Kids on the Block. After I woke up to pee for the 4th time, I dreamt that I was in a castle being chased by cannibalistic blonde children who climbed walls and had an appetite for me. Needless to say, the first dream was better than the latter.

Besides the leg cramps, heartburn, peeing 5 times a night and my back pain (which has been diagnosed as SI Joint Dysfunction), I wake up with thoughts about labor. Going into labor, being in labor, how am I suppose to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon? I have less than 5 months left until I have 18+ hours of intense labor and that is why I want an epidural. No, all natural for me. I say give me the drugs my friends. I wince when I get a paper cut, how am I suppose to push this baby out with no drugs?

This past weekend was the "Labor Pains Weekend". The weekend in which I spoke to several mothers who thought it would be educational (if not fun) to share their labor stories with me. The tearing, the intense pain that was 100 times worse than anything they had experienced before, and the "I am possessed" state. Yes, the state in which they bitched and became "possessed" with the staff and occasionally their husbands. They said it was like an out of body experience.

I try not to think about it during the day and most times I succeed, but it's when I am half asleep, making my way through the dim room to the bathroom that those thoughts creep up. It must be that when I get up from bed, my stomach feels so heavy. More than any other time of day and I am reminded that it's only going to get bigger and eventually have to come out. Yes, I know this is all common sense to you, but when it is actually happening it's a whole different feeling.

I am 17 weeks tomorrow. My baby can hear voices now, and the dog barking. He or she now has fingerprints, can sense light and stretches and sucks their thumb. Around 20 weeks I should feel the baby move. I can't wait. Besides Nov 7th when we find out the gender, I am looking forward to the baby kicking and reminding me that all that future labor is well worth the pain. I say then "Bring it on..... but give me the epidural first" :)